The Homeowners Association

We live in an awesome neighborhood that happens to be governed by a Homeowners Association (HOA). Our HOA has an Internet group set up that contains our bylaws, forms, contact information and what not. It allows the neighborhood to schedule HOA meetings and generally keeps everyone organized and in touch. It's a pretty handy tool actually. The Internet group also allows members to email the entire neighborhood...

I think the best way to sum up the neighborhood emails would be: insanity. In the year we have lived in our neighborhood I would wager that I've received around 700 neighborhood emails. Approximately six of those emails were from men while the other 694 were from women.

I'll share a few of the actual emails that have been sent TO THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD over the past year. These are actual emails word for word. I have also highlighted my contributions in bold:

Subject: TOY STORY 3

• Brenda: HI, A few of us our planning to go to a matinee to see Toy Story 3 this Thursday since it looks like it might be another rainy day. So if anyone else would like to join us please let me know what time works best. There is a 3-D version at 10:15am and 1pm and a regular version at 10:45am, 11:30 and 1:30. The 10:15 or 10:45 work good but we could go anytime. Looking forward to it!
• Jaime: We would lean towards the 1:00pm 3-D version, but can go with the majority. Looking forward to it as much as the kids!
• Jessica: The 10:15 or 10:45 work good but we could go anytime. Looking forward to it!
• Brenda: Should we plan to go to the 10:15 3-D version this Thursday?
• Emma: Thanks for the invite Brenda. I have to work tomorrow but enjoy and let us know how it is.
• Jaime: Sounds good. We will plan on buying ours online later this afternoon unless we hear differently.
• Brenda: I was wondering if we could move the time to the 1pm 3-D show , if this doesn't work out that's fine. John and Sam would be able to come too if we went to the later show but if it's going to hard to move the time we'll just plan to go to the 10:15am show. Thanks!
• Jessica: Go ahead and go to a later show. We have swim and another commitment tomorrow afternoon. (FIL just got out of hospital so we r going to visit) Mike and I will take Ross. I think mike would want to see it anyway. Thanks for trying to coordinate and thinking of us!
• Jaime: We can do 1:00pm.
• Brenda: We're on for the 1pm show.
• Lori: Great - Want to carpool? I can drive. Cheers!
• Me: Hi everybody!
• Brenda: I have some errands to run in that area so I still need to drive. Thanks for the offer.
• Kristin: Thanks for the invite! We took our kids yesterday, but keep us in mind for next time. Best
• Sara: Sounds like a lot of fun. We have other plans already on Thursday right now, but if our plans fall through, we would love to join you.

Subject: TARP TENT IN THE GREENBELT

• Andrea: Hi neighbors,I hiked up the greenbelt trail yesterday and was surprised to see several tarps strung up shelter-style about a third of the way up, to the right of the trail facing the ravine. There was a bag of stuff, and a shovel, and it looked like someone had been digging a large square shallow hole several feet wide. I also saw a couple pieces of wood charcoal on the trail near that site.Did our neighborhood kids do this? Or do we have other people visiting (hopefully not living in) our greenbelt?I am all for kids playing in the woods -- I grew up doing so, and I am glad we have a safe and natural area our kids can play. However, It is important to me to keep the human impacts minimized. A small fort made from natural materials would be fine, but this one is really big and obvious and plastic and I feel it spoils the natural beauty of the trail. And I am very concerned that someone is having fires up there.I would like to see the board take action on this, including taking down the tarps and clearing out the shovel and whatever other stuff is in that area (if no one in neighborhood claims them and does so soon). I'm glad to pitch in to do so - I just didn't want to do so unilaterally without getting more info first.I would also like to ask the board to spearhead writing some language into our bylaws/guidelines forbidding non-board-sanctioned fires or built structures in our common areas (to be written in such a way to allow for the annual pig roast of course).What are other people's thoughts?Best
• Ann: Hi Kristen and Neighbors, Could you clarify what the greenbelt trail is? Are we talking the trail who's trailhead starts by the Thompson's backyard fence and goes up the hill? From your e-mail I'm more concerned there are strangers living up the trail and building fires. Sounds very suspicious and unsettling. If it's not anyone from our neighborhood, should we report it to the police? Thoughts?
• Cathy: I know that some of the neighborhood kids have built forts in the woods. My kids said they left a shovel up there and will retrieve it today. I don't think we have any worries about strangers. We just have some amazing and innovative kids that live in our neighborhood and love adventure. Maybe the kids could help the adults find a nice spot for the pig roast that is not in the park. Kids often have great ideas and have strong work ethics that could spearhead the effort.I do like the idea of a natural looking fort in the woods. Maybe we could find some plans and the kids could send the last few weeks of summer working on it.
• Andrea: If the neighborhood agrees it is OK to build something up in the woods, then I don't see the problem. Honestly, my main concerns were fires and squatters. I would like to keep any more "major" forts away from the main trail, just to preserve the experience of the lovely natural environment we have up there, for trail walkers. Do others agree?
  If the parents of the fort-making kids wanted to help them find a safe and accessible place to build a fort that is out of sight from both houses and trail, and provide a little guidance to help them plan a fort that is not too destructive to the landscape, that might be a good compromise. Would this be OK with others? Plus it would make the fort that much more "secret," which as far as I can remember was one of the top criteria for a really good fort.
  I know Steve (our son) has been interested in building a fort in our yard -- it would be fun for him and Drew to help with one in the woods. Which makes me think, it would be nice if the fort was known as a neighborhood play zone and not a place that some kids would "own" and exclude others from accessing (except as part of normal pretend/play).
  When I was a kid, there was this fabulous tree in a woods near our neighborhood that all the kids would eventually learn to climb. Different kids had built platforms and perches in its upper branches, and each generation of kids would have the fun of discovering this little world, and adding their own mark. It would be so great to have that kind of place for our kids. I like the pig roast in the park! It is one of those things that make this a unique and fun place to live. Don't move it! Best
• Me: Dear Neighbors, Every morning I wake up at 4:30am and I run up the trail. Super fast. At the top I do 1,000 push ups. Then I sprint back down to the bottom. Then I run back up to the top again where I do 1,000 crunches. This is how I maintain my statuesque body. I run past the fort four times per day (albeit at an Olympic sprinters pace) and I think it is pretty cool. It does, however, bother me that the fort is only one story. It definitely should be a minimum of two stories. This fact greatly disappoints me. So much so that I would be willing to volunteer my time to draft up some concept sketches for the fort remodel in the works. Although I have no formal (or informal) training in engineering or architecture I am confident that my ides will be grand. In the meantime I suggest that we begin to accumulate supplies. We'll need a lot of wood and lots of nails. This also might be a good opportunity for the kids to learn how to use a nail gun if anyone has an air compressor. Yours very truly, Paul

Subject: CAUTION

• Sara: Hey Neighbors, Just a quick warning as you drive in and out of the neighborhood: watch out for a group of little Hispanic boys who are about 4 or five years old that are riding their bikes (no helmets) around our neighborhood. They come down the hill at break neck speeds without stopping at intersections or yielding to cars. They have also been in our park and sadly also the bioswale. They are completely unsupervised. Several of us moms have talked to them and called the police who have also talked to them. The police say there is nothing more they can do and that their parents probably aren't even home. So please be aware they are around and drive very cautiously. It would be a tragedy if one of us accidentally hit them.
• Cathy: Thank for the heads up. Has anyone called CPS? If the parents are neglectful, we may have an obligation to report it. Thanks again!
• Anita: No wonder...I drove home and got on my driveway seeing some stranger kids speeding the bike towards my van. I really think that we need a SCP sign in front of our neighborhood right beside the bus shelter or around the corner of the wood fence. The purpose is not just for preventing others use our park(Most development do have a sign as "private part for the residents and their guests") but for letting people aware this is a private property. It's fine letting those kids play in the park but the clear sign could make them be aware of the boundary and be respectful to others' community.
• Me: (I honestly didn't even have the stones to chime in on this one. Really? They are going to call CPS because some kids are riding their bikes? Really? Why not just spray them with the hose?)

Subject: Water Heater Issues?

• Jessica: Hello Neighbors,Did anyone else get a luke warm/cold shower this morning after yesterday's water shut-off episode? We turned our water heater off (as the form suggested) and back on around 6:00 last night. Still no HOT water. Anyone have thoughts? Also, I'm curious to know if you (or the prior owner if you know) have replaced your water heater? The tax credit runs though next year and provides ~ 30% discount on tank-less. I figure we'd wait that long to see if this one goes and consider our options. Thanks so much!
• Mia: I had a none-too-warm shower as well this AM, but I often do -- our water heater is original to the house and it was looked at last spring and pronounced "on its last legs".
  I'm wondering though if maybe the heater needs a full 24 hrs or something to fully get the heat back in the water??? We need to replace it in the not too distant future. Does anyone use a water heater insulating blanket in the winter? I've read that they are useful for older water heaters. Cheerio
• Me: Our water heater is also the original and my shower this morning was nice and hot. I had to turn on the fan in the bathroom because it got all steamy.
• Jessica: Trying to make me jealous are you? :)