Paul's Amusings is Big Time!

As a Paul's Amusings follower you surely have deep and sincere appreciation for the awesomeness of this blog. Since we are all innately searching for affirmation of our self worth in some way I wanted to give each of you a little pat on the behind.

A few years back, the author of this amazing blog (me) was having a few tasty beverages one night and happened to drunk email the world famous Sports Guy. The Sports Guy found my email to be so amusing that he wound up including it in one of his "mailbag" columns. Not only did the column appear on ESPN.com but it was also in the July 16, 2007 issue of ESPN The Magazine.




And to put chocolate syrup on the ice cream the email earned the coveted spot as the last email of the column which, if you read The Sports Guy you know, is the coolest spot because it gets the, "Yup, these are my readers" response.

At this point you are likely asking, "What the hell is going on? I thought this guy was going to give me a pat on the behind?" Its quite simple really: this is another example of how I am awesome. And since you like me, that means you have excellent taste. Congratulations!

The Old Switch A Roo

This old story has come up a few times recently and its too good not to share. Back in college my buddy Hank did a study abroad program for a year along with a group of about 30 classmates over in Florence, Italy. As they began traveling all over Europe, sharing many experiences together and drinking a ton the group of students became quite close. As you can imagine, a few relationships developed as well.

One such relationship was between one of Hank's buddies and a lovely lady in the group. As time passed it became commonplace for these two to rendezvous back at his room after a night out.

One time, after a day of traveling and drinking, this exact scenario transpired and Hank's buddy (heretofore referred to as Buddy) and Lovely Lady (heretofore referred to as...Lovely Lady) rendezvoused back at Buddy's room. At this point certain consensual acts transpired that won't be mentioned here. What will be mentioned, however, is that these certain consensual acts transpired in Buddy's roommate's bed (no, Buddy's roommate was not in the bed...nor was he in the room watching...you pervert)! Apparently Buddy thought doing it in his roommate's bed was really funny (that's because it is!!!). Upon wrapping things up both Buddy and Lovely Lady passed out in roommate's bed.

Later that night Buddy woke up. To himself pissing the bed.

(Take a moment to let that soak in. Get it? "Soak in" Ha ha! Thank you. Thank you.)

Summarizing things to this point: Buddy has hooked up with Lovely Lady, passed out and pissed all over himself and Lovely Lady. ALL IN HIS ROOMMATE'S BED! Yet the story somehow gets better...because what did Buddy do when he realized that he and Lovely Lady were passed out in his roommate's bed full of his own urine? Naturally he got up, cleaned himself off, hopped in his own clean bed and went right back to sleep. A few hours later Lovely Lady woke up laying in a piss soaked bed having no earthly idea what happened.

If I were somehow able to get myself into this predicament I'm quite certain I wouldn't have had the wherewithal (or is it courage? Bravado? Intestinal fortitude?) to simply get out of bed, clean up and go back to sleep in my own bed while leaving Lovely Lady laying in my roommate's bed that I just wet. No way.

Lucky for us all, I'm not the character in this story because Buddy didn't end the charade by fessing up and apologizing. Ohhh no! He proceeded to blame Lovely Lady for wetting his roommate's bed and angrily dismissed her from the room. She apologized profusely and left the room in shame. To this day Lovely Lady doesn't know that she didn't wet the bed.

I'm not sure about you, but I'm comforted knowing that there is someone out there like Buddy. Bravo, Buddy. Bravo.

Follow Paul's Amusings on Twitter

In typical Paul's Amusings fashion I've recently been messing around with Twitter about a year after everyone else. I'm beginning to really enjoy following certain Twitterers/Tweeters/Tweets/Twitters/Twits. I'm really not sure of the proper lingo. Anyway, you can now follow Paul's Amusings on Twitter. It's a great way for me to share quick amusings that aren't deep enough to cover with an entire blog post and also to keep you updated when there's a new posts on the blog.

To check it out just click on this sentence that you are reading right now.

Brilliance and Disappointment

I've been playing Beer Pong for years now. I have always greatly enjoyed the game as it combines two of my favorite activities: making shots, drinking beers, talking trash and competition. I bring it up because I've been playing Beer Pong for 10+ years at this point and I recently became extremely disappointed with myself because this awesome YouTube video was brought to my attention and I can't believe it never occurred to me to finish off a game with this brilliance:



Can you imagine being involved in a competitive game of Beer Pong at a house party in college? People are milling around the garage enjoying the competition and trash talk, the game is close and just as it gets down to where each team has one cup left it's your turn to shoot. You unassumingly take the ball and back up a few steps. Then just as all eyes focus on you trying to figure out what you're doing you take a few running steps, leap over the table and dunk home the winning shot while smashing the table to smithereens!

I can't believe I didn't think of this back in the day. It's pure genius. And this video is awesome! I had tears of laughter streaming down my face in my office as I watched it. And any video that brings me tears of joy, laughter and a dash of disappointment needs to be shared.