A Guy Who REALLY Wants A Pitcher of Beer

Following up on the previous post about the crazy war protesters/supporters in Everett, Washington...a while back one of these crazy people had made a sign that perplexed me and I emailed my buddy Jamie about it. The following is our exact email exchange copied and pasted exactly from our emails:

From Paul to Jamie:

"I saw a sign among the war protesters/supporters down below our office today that said: “ONLY PIGS CAN PREVENT A JIHAD.” I am a college graduate with a good job who kind of follows the news and what not. On top of that I have lots of friends who are lots smarter and more knowledgeable on current events than I (all of them actually) and I have yet to find a single person who knows what that sign means. So now you have the opportunity to earn two beers because if you can figure that out you have another one coming. Actually, screw that – if you can tell me what that sign means I’ll buy you a pitcher! You can pick the beer."

Jamie's response:

"Here is what I know about the Pig sign. Muslims believe that pigs are basically the worst being on the planet. They don't eat pork and find them disgusting etc, etc. Most people refer to Jihad as a holy war...but basically you can apply any war coming from that region of the world as a holy war, and that would include the Iraq war, terrorism in general, etc (Bin Laden and his followers believe that their God hates the United States, and thus is fighting a holy war = Jihad.)

So what is the best way to fight Muslims? Use pigs. People think you should use live pigs in airports, put them on planes, outside of buildings, everywhere. How do most terrorists fight? They are suicide bombers, planes in 9/11, etc. So what happens if you blow yourself up when a pig is around? Your spilled blood is then mixed with the blood of a pig, and you are denied your rightful passage into the heavenly destination since for some reason killing yourself in the name of Jihad is honorable and its part of God's will. The pig nullifies that. The sign "only pigs can prevent a jihad" basically just says that war against terrorism is futile since Jihad is religion based, and the whole middle east region is Muslim, thus their warriors for their war is endless and so only a pig can stop the holy war by using the religion against itself.

Its a stretch, but I think that's the logic behind it, and it might have a broader application than my small explanation. I think most people don't really think a pig is the answer, but in anti-war terms, it just means that there might be a better possibility to help us fight terrorism. I like beer."

This is me again...I have no idea if that is correct in any way but I was very impressed. Now THAT, my friends, is a guy who really likes beer! Jamie - you have a pitcher of beer coming your way!

Everett is Awesome Part 62

Every single Friday at 11:30am a group of people gather at the main intersection here in Everett, Washington. These people stand on all four corners of the intersection holding American flags and signs with very confusing and mixed messages. Witnessing this spectacle week after week has left me with many many MANY questions so I thought I'd share them with you readers. Here you go:

• Really?
• Do people not have better things to do than to go stand on the street corner for two hours and hold a GIANT American flag while yelling at cars? I don’t know if these people are for the war or against the war.
• Are we even at war?
• If so, who are we warring with?
• Where do you find such a huge American flag anyway?
• Was it expensive?
• Are American flags expensive in general? I have never purchased an American flag to be honest. We have one at our house and it’s probably 4 feet by 3 feet but it came with our old house so we just kept it and brought it with us to the new place. and I like it so there it hangs out front. It makes me feel like a patriot.
• Is that why these people come out every Friday and yell at cars while waving a HUGE American flag; because it makes them feel like a patriot? I would argue that I feel just as much like a patriot as they do but I don’t have to waste two hours every week standing on a street corner yelling at fellow citizens who are minding their own business just trying to walk to lunch.
• Do they think they are really making a difference?
• If so, what difference do they feel they are making?
• Do they think they are helping win the war? If this is the case they are just stupid and crazy.
• Do they think they are rallying support for the war? If this is the case then they are stupid, crazy AND delusional all in one…and that, my friends is the trifecta of insanity! I would argue that they standing on the street corner for two hours per week waving a HUGE American flag merely causes passers by to reinforce their current stance on the “war” whatever that may be….oooh…now we have cops on the scene. Interesting. I hope this crazy guy gets maced. If he does get maced I would wager that he will ramp up his war protest or support (whatever he’s doing I still can not tell) to an every day event in simultaneous protest or support of the war and in support of the right to protest. I would pay $100 to see this guy try to articulate his message onto a clear and concise sign for public consumption. I think he might have to do it in a picture form so as to get his complete message across. I would wager that it would involve a mailman doll with a bucket over its head.

Business Time

I've been giving thought as to how I would begin this post for a few weeks now. Basically what it comes down to is that I need to give thanks. You see, I'm blessed in so many ways that I don't dare begin to list them here for fear that you will stop loving me and you'll just want to be friends. And lets face it, nobody wants that. The crazy thing is that on top of all the blessings in my life I am continually impressed, amazed and amused with the small normal everyday things that any Joe Schmedlap likely takes for granted.

For example, a few weekends ago we were over at one of my very favorite places in the entire world - Crescent Bar. Wife, Brian, Cory and I were hanging out on the deck in the morning just after breakfast and before beer o'clock when one of the coolest and most amusing events occurred right before our eyes. We were sitting around the giant cribbage table (which I made) and two flies calmly landed on the table. See, right now you are wondering where the heck I'm going with this and you need to chill out! Guy Fly then proceeded to mount Girl Fly and give her the business right there in front of us on the giant cribbage table!

At this point I'm sure you are picturing two flies quickly landing on a table, touching and then hurriedly flying away...not so much. Guy Fly gave Girl Fly the business doggy style for literally ten minutes right there in front of us. As you can see in the picture below, we were right there watching from a foot away! Girl Fly was really into it. She would reach back and stroke Guy Fly on the cheek and chest to let him know he was doing a good job. Meanwhile Guy Fly would slap Girl Fly on the ass every now and then. You could tell he was really enjoying himself. I'm also nearly certain he was enjoying the fact that he was putting on a show. I particularly enjoy how you can see Guy Fly's hips in action in this shot. I don't think I've ever even seen a fly this close in my entire life let alone while they're humping!

Anyway, I'm sorry to say that my initial cell phone picture just did not do the scene justice. Thankfully Brian grabbed a good camera and got a nice quality shot that I can share with you.

I'm not sure about you but I always assumed that flies just humped in like two seconds and moved along. I did not know they settled down for some good old fashioned business time.