My buddy Murch and I were going back and forth with some text messages the other night. Each of us happened to be enjoying a few drinks alone and we were discussing seven or eight different topics. I thought I'd share one particular thread as it turned out to be quite amusing:
8:01:22 pm - Me: How much is too much to drink alone? I'm thinking I'll have two Jim Rome's and then move on to a few Jim Beam & Diet Coke's.
8:01:36 pm - Murch: As long as you can pour them without spilling you're golden.
9:38:11 pm - Me: I just spilled but it was. Only a little.
9:38:37 pm - Murch: Spills only count if its the whole fucking glass.
There is a lot of awesomeness going on here. I love the fact that it took Murch only 14 seconds to read my text and reply with such wisdom. I was also very amused that in roughly an hour and a half I drank enough to start spilling and texting erratically. In particular I enjoyed the accidental period in the middle of my text at 9:38:11 pm. The topper for me was the rationale and well placed F-Bomb in Murch's final text. Upon reading it I definitely spit a little of my drink all over our computer.
Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Friday, August 28, 2009
A Guy Who REALLY Wants A Pitcher of Beer
Following up on the previous post about the crazy war protesters/supporters in Everett, Washington...a while back one of these crazy people had made a sign that perplexed me and I emailed my buddy Jamie about it. The following is our exact email exchange copied and pasted exactly from our emails:
From Paul to Jamie:
"I saw a sign among the war protesters/supporters down below our office today that said: “ONLY PIGS CAN PREVENT A JIHAD.” I am a college graduate with a good job who kind of follows the news and what not. On top of that I have lots of friends who are lots smarter and more knowledgeable on current events than I (all of them actually) and I have yet to find a single person who knows what that sign means. So now you have the opportunity to earn two beers because if you can figure that out you have another one coming. Actually, screw that – if you can tell me what that sign means I’ll buy you a pitcher! You can pick the beer."
Jamie's response:
"Here is what I know about the Pig sign. Muslims believe that pigs are basically the worst being on the planet. They don't eat pork and find them disgusting etc, etc. Most people refer to Jihad as a holy war...but basically you can apply any war coming from that region of the world as a holy war, and that would include the Iraq war, terrorism in general, etc (Bin Laden and his followers believe that their God hates the United States, and thus is fighting a holy war = Jihad.)
So what is the best way to fight Muslims? Use pigs. People think you should use live pigs in airports, put them on planes, outside of buildings, everywhere. How do most terrorists fight? They are suicide bombers, planes in 9/11, etc. So what happens if you blow yourself up when a pig is around? Your spilled blood is then mixed with the blood of a pig, and you are denied your rightful passage into the heavenly destination since for some reason killing yourself in the name of Jihad is honorable and its part of God's will. The pig nullifies that. The sign "only pigs can prevent a jihad" basically just says that war against terrorism is futile since Jihad is religion based, and the whole middle east region is Muslim, thus their warriors for their war is endless and so only a pig can stop the holy war by using the religion against itself.
Its a stretch, but I think that's the logic behind it, and it might have a broader application than my small explanation. I think most people don't really think a pig is the answer, but in anti-war terms, it just means that there might be a better possibility to help us fight terrorism. I like beer."
This is me again...I have no idea if that is correct in any way but I was very impressed. Now THAT, my friends, is a guy who really likes beer! Jamie - you have a pitcher of beer coming your way!
From Paul to Jamie:
"I saw a sign among the war protesters/supporters down below our office today that said: “ONLY PIGS CAN PREVENT A JIHAD.” I am a college graduate with a good job who kind of follows the news and what not. On top of that I have lots of friends who are lots smarter and more knowledgeable on current events than I (all of them actually) and I have yet to find a single person who knows what that sign means. So now you have the opportunity to earn two beers because if you can figure that out you have another one coming. Actually, screw that – if you can tell me what that sign means I’ll buy you a pitcher! You can pick the beer."
Jamie's response:
"Here is what I know about the Pig sign. Muslims believe that pigs are basically the worst being on the planet. They don't eat pork and find them disgusting etc, etc. Most people refer to Jihad as a holy war...but basically you can apply any war coming from that region of the world as a holy war, and that would include the Iraq war, terrorism in general, etc (Bin Laden and his followers believe that their God hates the United States, and thus is fighting a holy war = Jihad.)
So what is the best way to fight Muslims? Use pigs. People think you should use live pigs in airports, put them on planes, outside of buildings, everywhere. How do most terrorists fight? They are suicide bombers, planes in 9/11, etc. So what happens if you blow yourself up when a pig is around? Your spilled blood is then mixed with the blood of a pig, and you are denied your rightful passage into the heavenly destination since for some reason killing yourself in the name of Jihad is honorable and its part of God's will. The pig nullifies that. The sign "only pigs can prevent a jihad" basically just says that war against terrorism is futile since Jihad is religion based, and the whole middle east region is Muslim, thus their warriors for their war is endless and so only a pig can stop the holy war by using the religion against itself.
Its a stretch, but I think that's the logic behind it, and it might have a broader application than my small explanation. I think most people don't really think a pig is the answer, but in anti-war terms, it just means that there might be a better possibility to help us fight terrorism. I like beer."
This is me again...I have no idea if that is correct in any way but I was very impressed. Now THAT, my friends, is a guy who really likes beer! Jamie - you have a pitcher of beer coming your way!
Everett is Awesome Part 62
Every single Friday at 11:30am a group of people gather at the main intersection here in Everett, Washington. These people stand on all four corners of the intersection holding American flags and signs with very confusing and mixed messages. Witnessing this spectacle week after week has left me with many many MANY questions so I thought I'd share them with you readers. Here you go:
- Really?
- Do people not have better things to do than to go stand on the street corner for two hours and hold a GIANT American flag while yelling at cars? I don’t know if these people are for the war or against the war.
- Are we even at war?
- If so, who are we warring with?
- Where do you find such a huge American flag anyway?
- Was it expensive?
- Are American flags expensive in general? I have never purchased an American flag to be honest. We have one at our house and it’s probably 4 feet by 3 feet but it came with our old house so we just kept it and brought it with us to the new place. and I like it so there it hangs out front. It makes me feel like a patriot.
- Is that why these people come out every Friday and yell at cars while waving a HUGE American flag; because it makes them feel like a patriot? I would argue that I feel just as much like a patriot as they do but I don’t have to waste two hours every week standing on a street corner yelling at fellow citizens who are minding their own business just trying to walk to lunch.
- Do they think they are really making a difference?
- If so, what difference do they feel they are making?
- Do they think they are helping win the war? If this is the case they are just stupid and crazy.
- Do they think they are rallying support for the war? If this is the case then they are stupid, crazy AND delusional all in one…and that, my friends is the trifecta of insanity! I would argue that they standing on the street corner for two hours per week waving a HUGE American flag merely causes passers by to reinforce their current stance on the “war” whatever that may be….oooh…now we have cops on the scene. Interesting. I hope this crazy guy gets maced. If he does get maced I would wager that he will ramp up his war protest or support (whatever he’s doing I still can not tell) to an every day event in simultaneous protest or support of the war and in support of the right to protest. I would pay $100 to see this guy try to articulate his message onto a clear and concise sign for public consumption. I think he might have to do it in a picture form so as to get his complete message across. I would wager that it would involve a mailman doll with a bucket over its head.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Business Time
I've been giving thought as to how I would begin this post for a few weeks now. Basically what it comes down to is that I need to give thanks. You see, I'm blessed in so many ways that I don't dare begin to list them here for fear that you will stop loving me and you'll just want to be friends. And lets face it, nobody wants that. The crazy thing is that on top of all the blessings in my life I am continually impressed, amazed and amused with the small normal everyday things that any Joe Schmedlap likely takes for granted.
For example, a few weekends ago we were over at one of my very favorite places in the entire world - Crescent Bar. Wife, Brian, Cory and I were hanging out on the deck in the morning just after breakfast and before beer o'clock when one of the coolest and most amusing events occurred right before our eyes. We were sitting around the giant cribbage table (which I made) and two flies calmly landed on the table. See, right now you are wondering where the heck I'm going with this and you need to chill out! Guy Fly then proceeded to mount Girl Fly and give her the business right there in front of us on the giant cribbage table!
At this point I'm sure you are picturing two flies quickly landing on a table, touching and then hurriedly flying away...not so much. Guy Fly gave Girl Fly the business doggy style for literally ten minutes right there in front of us. As you can see in the picture below, we were right there watching from a foot away! Girl Fly was really into it. She would reach back and stroke Guy Fly on the cheek and chest to let him know he was doing a good job. Meanwhile Guy Fly would slap Girl Fly on the ass every now and then. You could tell he was really enjoying himself. I'm also nearly certain he was enjoying the fact that he was putting on a show. I particularly enjoy how you can see Guy Fly's hips in action in this shot. I don't think I've ever even seen a fly this close in my entire life let alone while they're humping!
Anyway, I'm sorry to say that my initial cell phone picture just did not do the scene justice. Thankfully Brian grabbed a good camera and got a nice quality shot that I can share with you.
I'm not sure about you but I always assumed that flies just humped in like two seconds and moved along. I did not know they settled down for some good old fashioned business time.
For example, a few weekends ago we were over at one of my very favorite places in the entire world - Crescent Bar. Wife, Brian, Cory and I were hanging out on the deck in the morning just after breakfast and before beer o'clock when one of the coolest and most amusing events occurred right before our eyes. We were sitting around the giant cribbage table (which I made) and two flies calmly landed on the table. See, right now you are wondering where the heck I'm going with this and you need to chill out! Guy Fly then proceeded to mount Girl Fly and give her the business right there in front of us on the giant cribbage table!
At this point I'm sure you are picturing two flies quickly landing on a table, touching and then hurriedly flying away...not so much. Guy Fly gave Girl Fly the business doggy style for literally ten minutes right there in front of us. As you can see in the picture below, we were right there watching from a foot away! Girl Fly was really into it. She would reach back and stroke Guy Fly on the cheek and chest to let him know he was doing a good job. Meanwhile Guy Fly would slap Girl Fly on the ass every now and then. You could tell he was really enjoying himself. I'm also nearly certain he was enjoying the fact that he was putting on a show. I particularly enjoy how you can see Guy Fly's hips in action in this shot. I don't think I've ever even seen a fly this close in my entire life let alone while they're humping!
Anyway, I'm sorry to say that my initial cell phone picture just did not do the scene justice. Thankfully Brian grabbed a good camera and got a nice quality shot that I can share with you.
I'm not sure about you but I always assumed that flies just humped in like two seconds and moved along. I did not know they settled down for some good old fashioned business time.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Costa Rica Jungle Story
I really can't believe I haven't posted this story yet as it's quite amusing. Three or four years ago the wife and I went to Costa Rica with Jared and Lindsay.
The story begins with Jared and Lindsay arriving in Costa Rica a day before us. After flying all night we arrived and they were at the airport in our Mitsubishi Montero rental waiting to pick us up. We were headed to a resort called The Sanctuary a few hours outside of Liberia (the second biggest city in Costa Rica where we landed). After stopping in town to pick up groceries, beer and liquor for most of the week we then got gas and were on the "road." I say "road" because a Costa Rican highway could best be described as a back country road here in the USA - no lines, no curbs, very few ragged street signs, slightly paved years ago, etc. Whatever, you get the drift. Jared informs us that its about an hour and a half to the resort. We are excited.
After driving for about 20 minutes Jared hangs a right off of the "highway" onto...a gravel road. At this point I thought maybe Jared or Lindsay needed to pee or to get a pop out of the back of the car. Nope - it was the way to the resort. So now we are on a gravel road and we still have an hour plus left to drive. Whatever, I was tired and hot and I really wanted to get there so I could take a poo and have a drink.
So we drive for about 20 minutes on the gravel road and there are some very small "towns" with a few houses every 10 minutes or so but basically we are out in the middle of the freaking jungle. At this point our nice Mitsubishi Montero stops working. Just to recap, we are in Costa Rica, in the jungle, in a rental car that has stopped working, it's about 105 degrees out, and it's 4:00pm and it gets dark every night at 6:00pm sharp. Oh, and I have to take a dump like no body's business. I should also mention that Jared and I could fairly be described as car morons. We can both fill them with fuel, add oil and change a tire but that's about it. So we are all feeling pretty confident at this point.
After trying to will the car to start for a few minutes, Jared and I got out to check under the hood. All the belts were hooked and things seemed to be in good shape. This would be when Darci asked, "does the car take gas or diesel?" We all immediately recalled that the girl who had filled up our car back in town had used gas and after opening the door to the gas cap we found that it said in huge letters, "DIESEL." Apparently some of the girls at the gas stations in Costa Rica don't read very well.
At this point we were officially stranded in the jungle in Costa Rica. So we all started brainstorming and we thought to call the rental car place. Neither Darci or my phone worked but thank God Lindsay had AT&T because it worked. I should also mention another thank God for Jared speaking half decent Spanish because the guy at the rental company did not speak a word of English. Jared explained the situation and the rental company was going to send a guy out with another Montero for us and he would be there in about an hour and a half. This was awesome news because it meant that we would eventually get out of the jungle but it was horrible news for me because I had to poop!
So we are sitting there in the jungle sweating and trying not to poo when I remember that we have all the beer and booze that we just bought in the trunk! If we are gonna be stranded we might as well have some fun with it right? Darci is too scared of dying and now Lindsay also has to poop and is also scared of dying so just Jared and I enjoyed a couple of scorching hot whiskey and Coke Lights (in Costa Rica it's Light not Diet).
After a few drinks a super duper dirty Jeep drives by and then stops. The guy gets out and starts talking to us (Jared later told me what he said, I had no clue). He asked if we needed help and Jared let him know that another car was on the way. The guy seemed very nice. Then Jared started saying some more stuff to him and then all of a sudden I heard him utter a phrase that I will never forget as long as I live, "mi Amiga y mi amigo necesstio numero dos." This sent Costa Rican guy into prolonged laughter. After he calmed down he thought for a few minutes and then offered to take Lindsay and me to his friends place down the road so we could numero dos. Jared explained and off Lindsay and I went with Mario Rosales Gonzalez further into the Costa Rican jungle. By honey!
Mario takes us about five minutes down the "road" and turns over little bridge and into...an absolutely beautiful ranch. This place was awesome: palm trees, painted perfectly, trimmed lawn, huge shiny porch, big swimming pool out back. Mario hops out and runs up to the pool and talks to what seems to be the owner who waves us into the bathroom - THANK GOD! The most amazing thing was that I let Lindsay go first. What a gentleman I am. Then Mario took us back to Darci and Jared stranded in the jungle. Thanks Mario.
This is absolutely NOT the end of this story.
We wait for a while longer (Jared and I are still sipping on 105 degree whiskey and Coke Light by the way) when another car drives up and stops right behind us. I am completely certain that the driver is former NFL star Marshall Faulk with his wife and kids. It wasn't. But it was a nice guy who looked EXACTLY like former NFL star Marshall Faulk and his family that Jared and Lindsay had met at our resort the night before. They offered to take us and/or our stuff to the resort. Since it was about 5:30 and starting to get dark we had them take Lindsay and Darci along with the groceries to the resort. Off they went leaving Jared and I sitting in the Costa Rican jungle waiting for some guy to show up with a new rental car.
Another 30 minutes pass and the guy shows up with our new Mitsubishi Montero. Yessssss! The guy is real nice and brought all the paperwork and everything. So we filled everything out and then he asked for the credit card. No problem since we had 3 or 4 between us...nope, he needed THE credit card that we reserved the car with which was Lindsay's credit card which was now with her at the resort. Shit. This guy makes it clear that he has to have that card or he can't give us the car. Jared asks if he and I can drive to the resort and bring him back the card. Understandably the guy says no since we haven't technically rented the new car yet. Rental Car Guy can't leave the car just sitting there and Rental Car Guy has no idea where our resort is and I have even less of an idea where I am. So I offer up the solution of Jared and Rental Car Guy going to the resort to get the card and I will stay with the broken down car. It's the only solution. We all agree.
This sounds simple enough right? Well, keep a few facts in mind: it is 5:45pm and it gets totally dark at 6:00pm, the resort is about 45 minutes away - one way - and I'm in sitting in the middle of the freaking Costa Rican jungle by myself in a broken down car. Then it starts to rain. Hard. So that's the bad news. The good news is that even though we sent all the luggage and groceries to the resort I kept a full bottle of whiskey, a 105 degree bottle of Coke Light and a cup.
I'm not sure about you but if I'm going to get kidnapped by some Costa Rican jungle militants or killed by a gang of monkeys I might as well be drunk! So I start mixing myself drinks. After another 3 or 4 very stiff drinks I remembered that while the car wouldn't run the battery was still working great so I turned on the radio. I pushed the Seek button one time and I shit you not - crystal clear classic rock came on. And apparently the Costa Rican's love Led Zeppelin just as much as I do because they played Led freaking Zeppelin for the next hour straight.
If this story doesn't convince you that I truly find things to be way more amusing than most and that I have more fun than 99% of the population then I just don't know what to say. I sat in the back of a Mitsubishi Montero with the tailgate open in the Costa Rican jungle in 105 degree heat in pouring rain in the dark by myself slugging whiskey, blaring Led Zeppelin and playing the air drums for an hour and I'm not gonna lie to you; I had an AWESOME time!
Jared and Rental Car Guy showed up a few hours later and we were off. The resort was awesome and we had an amazing time. But I will never forget my time in the Costa Rican Jungle. Or Mario Rosales Gonzalez.
The story begins with Jared and Lindsay arriving in Costa Rica a day before us. After flying all night we arrived and they were at the airport in our Mitsubishi Montero rental waiting to pick us up. We were headed to a resort called The Sanctuary a few hours outside of Liberia (the second biggest city in Costa Rica where we landed). After stopping in town to pick up groceries, beer and liquor for most of the week we then got gas and were on the "road." I say "road" because a Costa Rican highway could best be described as a back country road here in the USA - no lines, no curbs, very few ragged street signs, slightly paved years ago, etc. Whatever, you get the drift. Jared informs us that its about an hour and a half to the resort. We are excited.
After driving for about 20 minutes Jared hangs a right off of the "highway" onto...a gravel road. At this point I thought maybe Jared or Lindsay needed to pee or to get a pop out of the back of the car. Nope - it was the way to the resort. So now we are on a gravel road and we still have an hour plus left to drive. Whatever, I was tired and hot and I really wanted to get there so I could take a poo and have a drink.
So we drive for about 20 minutes on the gravel road and there are some very small "towns" with a few houses every 10 minutes or so but basically we are out in the middle of the freaking jungle. At this point our nice Mitsubishi Montero stops working. Just to recap, we are in Costa Rica, in the jungle, in a rental car that has stopped working, it's about 105 degrees out, and it's 4:00pm and it gets dark every night at 6:00pm sharp. Oh, and I have to take a dump like no body's business. I should also mention that Jared and I could fairly be described as car morons. We can both fill them with fuel, add oil and change a tire but that's about it. So we are all feeling pretty confident at this point.
After trying to will the car to start for a few minutes, Jared and I got out to check under the hood. All the belts were hooked and things seemed to be in good shape. This would be when Darci asked, "does the car take gas or diesel?" We all immediately recalled that the girl who had filled up our car back in town had used gas and after opening the door to the gas cap we found that it said in huge letters, "DIESEL." Apparently some of the girls at the gas stations in Costa Rica don't read very well.
At this point we were officially stranded in the jungle in Costa Rica. So we all started brainstorming and we thought to call the rental car place. Neither Darci or my phone worked but thank God Lindsay had AT&T because it worked. I should also mention another thank God for Jared speaking half decent Spanish because the guy at the rental company did not speak a word of English. Jared explained the situation and the rental company was going to send a guy out with another Montero for us and he would be there in about an hour and a half. This was awesome news because it meant that we would eventually get out of the jungle but it was horrible news for me because I had to poop!
So we are sitting there in the jungle sweating and trying not to poo when I remember that we have all the beer and booze that we just bought in the trunk! If we are gonna be stranded we might as well have some fun with it right? Darci is too scared of dying and now Lindsay also has to poop and is also scared of dying so just Jared and I enjoyed a couple of scorching hot whiskey and Coke Lights (in Costa Rica it's Light not Diet).
After a few drinks a super duper dirty Jeep drives by and then stops. The guy gets out and starts talking to us (Jared later told me what he said, I had no clue). He asked if we needed help and Jared let him know that another car was on the way. The guy seemed very nice. Then Jared started saying some more stuff to him and then all of a sudden I heard him utter a phrase that I will never forget as long as I live, "mi Amiga y mi amigo necesstio numero dos." This sent Costa Rican guy into prolonged laughter. After he calmed down he thought for a few minutes and then offered to take Lindsay and me to his friends place down the road so we could numero dos. Jared explained and off Lindsay and I went with Mario Rosales Gonzalez further into the Costa Rican jungle. By honey!
Mario takes us about five minutes down the "road" and turns over little bridge and into...an absolutely beautiful ranch. This place was awesome: palm trees, painted perfectly, trimmed lawn, huge shiny porch, big swimming pool out back. Mario hops out and runs up to the pool and talks to what seems to be the owner who waves us into the bathroom - THANK GOD! The most amazing thing was that I let Lindsay go first. What a gentleman I am. Then Mario took us back to Darci and Jared stranded in the jungle. Thanks Mario.
This is absolutely NOT the end of this story.
We wait for a while longer (Jared and I are still sipping on 105 degree whiskey and Coke Light by the way) when another car drives up and stops right behind us. I am completely certain that the driver is former NFL star Marshall Faulk with his wife and kids. It wasn't. But it was a nice guy who looked EXACTLY like former NFL star Marshall Faulk and his family that Jared and Lindsay had met at our resort the night before. They offered to take us and/or our stuff to the resort. Since it was about 5:30 and starting to get dark we had them take Lindsay and Darci along with the groceries to the resort. Off they went leaving Jared and I sitting in the Costa Rican jungle waiting for some guy to show up with a new rental car.
Another 30 minutes pass and the guy shows up with our new Mitsubishi Montero. Yessssss! The guy is real nice and brought all the paperwork and everything. So we filled everything out and then he asked for the credit card. No problem since we had 3 or 4 between us...nope, he needed THE credit card that we reserved the car with which was Lindsay's credit card which was now with her at the resort. Shit. This guy makes it clear that he has to have that card or he can't give us the car. Jared asks if he and I can drive to the resort and bring him back the card. Understandably the guy says no since we haven't technically rented the new car yet. Rental Car Guy can't leave the car just sitting there and Rental Car Guy has no idea where our resort is and I have even less of an idea where I am. So I offer up the solution of Jared and Rental Car Guy going to the resort to get the card and I will stay with the broken down car. It's the only solution. We all agree.
This sounds simple enough right? Well, keep a few facts in mind: it is 5:45pm and it gets totally dark at 6:00pm, the resort is about 45 minutes away - one way - and I'm in sitting in the middle of the freaking Costa Rican jungle by myself in a broken down car. Then it starts to rain. Hard. So that's the bad news. The good news is that even though we sent all the luggage and groceries to the resort I kept a full bottle of whiskey, a 105 degree bottle of Coke Light and a cup.
I'm not sure about you but if I'm going to get kidnapped by some Costa Rican jungle militants or killed by a gang of monkeys I might as well be drunk! So I start mixing myself drinks. After another 3 or 4 very stiff drinks I remembered that while the car wouldn't run the battery was still working great so I turned on the radio. I pushed the Seek button one time and I shit you not - crystal clear classic rock came on. And apparently the Costa Rican's love Led Zeppelin just as much as I do because they played Led freaking Zeppelin for the next hour straight.
If this story doesn't convince you that I truly find things to be way more amusing than most and that I have more fun than 99% of the population then I just don't know what to say. I sat in the back of a Mitsubishi Montero with the tailgate open in the Costa Rican jungle in 105 degree heat in pouring rain in the dark by myself slugging whiskey, blaring Led Zeppelin and playing the air drums for an hour and I'm not gonna lie to you; I had an AWESOME time!
Jared and Rental Car Guy showed up a few hours later and we were off. The resort was awesome and we had an amazing time. But I will never forget my time in the Costa Rican Jungle. Or Mario Rosales Gonzalez.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Simply Funny
Sorry for the huge gap (that's what she said) between posts. Work has been kicking my ass, the little league team that I coach won the championship and I have a pretty sweet post in the works to boot. In the meantime you can shut your pie hole and watch this clip.
There is nothing quite so refreshing as watching a dog drag its ass around on a carpet. Its funny to watch plus everyone can relate. It's just good clean fun.
There is nothing quite so refreshing as watching a dog drag its ass around on a carpet. Its funny to watch plus everyone can relate. It's just good clean fun.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Advice for being Eco Friendly...
...always try to follow this simple little saying when using the bathroom and you'll save thousands of gallons of water each year: if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.
I might drink my own piss before drinking the water in that picture. Sick.
I understand that this is not always practical but its really quite easy. I'd estimate that 8 out of 10 times you can let the yellow mellow. And just think - every time you flush a toilet it uses between one and five gallons of fresh water depending on your toilet. That adds up really fast. Even if you can get just two yellows per flush you'll save thousands of gallons of water each year.
And if you abide by the saying on a night when you have friends over for drinks you can save so much water its crazy!
And if you are poopy pants about this idea then I have two things to say to you: 1. you are an idiot and 2. you are one of the chosen few who live in a country with clean water so be thankful you don't have to drink your nasty ass water through a LifeStraw:
I might drink my own piss before drinking the water in that picture. Sick.
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