The Old Switch A Roo

This old story has come up a few times recently and its too good not to share. Back in college my buddy Hank did a study abroad program for a year along with a group of about 30 classmates over in Florence, Italy. As they began traveling all over Europe, sharing many experiences together and drinking a ton the group of students became quite close. As you can imagine, a few relationships developed as well.

One such relationship was between one of Hank's buddies and a lovely lady in the group. As time passed it became commonplace for these two to rendezvous back at his room after a night out.

One time, after a day of traveling and drinking, this exact scenario transpired and Hank's buddy (heretofore referred to as Buddy) and Lovely Lady (heretofore referred to as...Lovely Lady) rendezvoused back at Buddy's room. At this point certain consensual acts transpired that won't be mentioned here. What will be mentioned, however, is that these certain consensual acts transpired in Buddy's roommate's bed (no, Buddy's roommate was not in the bed...nor was he in the room watching...you pervert)! Apparently Buddy thought doing it in his roommate's bed was really funny (that's because it is!!!). Upon wrapping things up both Buddy and Lovely Lady passed out in roommate's bed.

Later that night Buddy woke up. To himself pissing the bed.

(Take a moment to let that soak in. Get it? "Soak in" Ha ha! Thank you. Thank you.)

Summarizing things to this point: Buddy has hooked up with Lovely Lady, passed out and pissed all over himself and Lovely Lady. ALL IN HIS ROOMMATE'S BED! Yet the story somehow gets better...because what did Buddy do when he realized that he and Lovely Lady were passed out in his roommate's bed full of his own urine? Naturally he got up, cleaned himself off, hopped in his own clean bed and went right back to sleep. A few hours later Lovely Lady woke up laying in a piss soaked bed having no earthly idea what happened.

If I were somehow able to get myself into this predicament I'm quite certain I wouldn't have had the wherewithal (or is it courage? Bravado? Intestinal fortitude?) to simply get out of bed, clean up and go back to sleep in my own bed while leaving Lovely Lady laying in my roommate's bed that I just wet. No way.

Lucky for us all, I'm not the character in this story because Buddy didn't end the charade by fessing up and apologizing. Ohhh no! He proceeded to blame Lovely Lady for wetting his roommate's bed and angrily dismissed her from the room. She apologized profusely and left the room in shame. To this day Lovely Lady doesn't know that she didn't wet the bed.

I'm not sure about you, but I'm comforted knowing that there is someone out there like Buddy. Bravo, Buddy. Bravo.

Business Time

I've been giving thought as to how I would begin this post for a few weeks now. Basically what it comes down to is that I need to give thanks. You see, I'm blessed in so many ways that I don't dare begin to list them here for fear that you will stop loving me and you'll just want to be friends. And lets face it, nobody wants that. The crazy thing is that on top of all the blessings in my life I am continually impressed, amazed and amused with the small normal everyday things that any Joe Schmedlap likely takes for granted.

For example, a few weekends ago we were over at one of my very favorite places in the entire world - Crescent Bar. Wife, Brian, Cory and I were hanging out on the deck in the morning just after breakfast and before beer o'clock when one of the coolest and most amusing events occurred right before our eyes. We were sitting around the giant cribbage table (which I made) and two flies calmly landed on the table. See, right now you are wondering where the heck I'm going with this and you need to chill out! Guy Fly then proceeded to mount Girl Fly and give her the business right there in front of us on the giant cribbage table!

At this point I'm sure you are picturing two flies quickly landing on a table, touching and then hurriedly flying away...not so much. Guy Fly gave Girl Fly the business doggy style for literally ten minutes right there in front of us. As you can see in the picture below, we were right there watching from a foot away! Girl Fly was really into it. She would reach back and stroke Guy Fly on the cheek and chest to let him know he was doing a good job. Meanwhile Guy Fly would slap Girl Fly on the ass every now and then. You could tell he was really enjoying himself. I'm also nearly certain he was enjoying the fact that he was putting on a show. I particularly enjoy how you can see Guy Fly's hips in action in this shot. I don't think I've ever even seen a fly this close in my entire life let alone while they're humping!

Anyway, I'm sorry to say that my initial cell phone picture just did not do the scene justice. Thankfully Brian grabbed a good camera and got a nice quality shot that I can share with you.

I'm not sure about you but I always assumed that flies just humped in like two seconds and moved along. I did not know they settled down for some good old fashioned business time.