Awesomeness in Everett, WA

So I’m rolling through Everett this morning on the way to work at about 7:15am and while driving through one of Everett’s finest neighborhoods I had the privilege of seeing perhaps my all time greatest domestic dispute (granted I haven’t really seen any domestic disputes so I may not be the best judge but I would imagine that this one would be high on just about anyone’s list). So there is a super duperly hideous lady on the street corner in her flannel pajamas smoking a cig. This lady is terribly gross and she was the beacon in the distance that initially attracted my eyes to this glorious confrontation. So I’m driving up and looking at this beast of a woman who was so ugly that she didn’t even hit any of the branches when falling from the ugly tree – other ugly people actually hit HER as they fall to the ground. So she’s out there on the corner facing the other direction and as I am getting closer I notice a guy coming down the front steps of a house about 3 doors from where she is standing. This guy is rocking a VERY nasty mullet and is wearing this sickest most disgusting bathrobe you’ve ever seen. And that’s it…just take a minute to get that picture cued up in your head…now you may be laughing at this point because this is funny stuff but just hold your britches for a minute because what I’m about to tell you is going to rock your world…so this awesomely white trash guy rolls out of his house and is yelling VERY loudly at his antithesis of a beauty queen lady friend on the corner and just as he gets through his front yard and to the sidewalk is the exact moment when I am driving by staring and what does this guy do just as I drive by? I’m sure you have lots of guesses in your head right now but I assure you that none of them are as good as what actually happened because Gob blessed me this morning. He really did because this gentleman walked out of his house YELLING at his horrifically repulsive lady friend on the corner just at this very moment explicitly for my enjoyment. It was at this very moment that I am convinced that God intervened - only God could be this funny and ironic – because just as this guy gets to the sidewalk and I am driving by he pulls a 24oz of Mickey’s from his bathrobe pocket, slugs a HUGE drink, chucks it into the neighbor’s yard pinwheeling Mickey's everywhere and then carries on yelling profusely at his beast of a lady friend on the corner.

I’m not sure if I’m just luckier than everyone else or if God just likes me more but the facts are the facts. I am blessed. How is it that I get to see this kinda stuff on a semi regular basis? Do other people see things that are this awesome but they just don’t tell anyone? Or am I the only one who gets to see sweet shit like this and it’s just my duty to report the happenings? I would really like an answer to this question.

Good talk.