Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Greatest Cell Phone Pic Ever

Back in 2003 or 2004 we were tailgating for a Seattle Seahawks game down near Seahawks Stadium. There were about 30 people tailgating in our little group and we were all drinking beer and eating and having a grand old tailgating time.

After enjoying ourselves for a while we went about getting the BBQ ready to cook some brats but we needed the grate for the BBQ. We had arrived in Kalso's Toyota Camry. For those who don't know Kalso, to say he keeps his car in complete and utter disarray, chaos and filth is a gigantic understatement to say the least. So Sophomore and I are in Kalso's trunk sorting through hockey skates, piles of newspapers, antique (or likely just really old) golf clubs, food, bottles of booze, charcoal briquettes and empty beer bottles looking for the damn BBQ grate. This is when things got interesting.

You see, I am the "Idea Guy" when it comes to situations like this. I'm sure you'll learn of more examples to come but on this occasion Sophomore and I came across a can of silk worm pupas. What are silk worm pupas you ask? Uhhh...we had no clue and our interest was only elevated by the fact that most of the writing on the can was Korean (I didn't know it was Korean at the time. Come on now.) Anyway, after asking Kalso what the hell the can was he explained that our buddy Kirk had just come back from teaching English in Korea and had brought said can of silk worm pupas back for him. After trying to figure out what silk worm pupas were Kalso said he wanted to save them. Uh...ok. This is when "Idea Guy" went to work.

At this point I calmly took my hat off and walked around to all the little groups of people who were tailgating with us and explained that if Kalso were to eat the entire can of silk worm pupas and keep it down for a full minute - how much would they give him? After a trip around the tailgate I had $73.28 in my hat. At this point I approached Kalso with my hat full of money and explained his charge (one thing you need to understand is that Kalso will accept nearly any challenge predicated upon him getting money for eating or drinking stuff and/or getting naked in public). To my surprise it did take some convincing, but after a few minutes a deal was struck.

Upon opening the can of aforementioned silk worm pupas we learned that they are perhaps the most disgusting and vile "food" in the entire world. Unbeknownst to us, silk worm pupas are little larva type things that look like little half size potato bugs and this particular Korean "delicacy" came in some type of pickling juice (I'm using that term quite loosely as this shit was sick and stinky). And to make things even better (for us, not so much for Kalso) the little tuna sized can contained like 200 of these little bastards!

Sophomore tried one (1) and gagged.

As Kalso got to work he started off pretty strong and was downing about 10 at a time. Then once he hit his "stride" he was taking them three or four at a time and gagging with every swallow - that's what she said!

Anyway, after about 15 minutes of battling his gag reflex Kalso finally finished the last of the silk worm pupas...then, surprisingly, came the tough part. Kalso normally can eat ANYTHING and keep it down (I once witnessed Kalso drink a bowl of super super SUPER hot BBQ sauce for $20 and he felt he had ripped off the guy who gave him the $20). Not so much with the silk worm pupas.

At this point Kalso was Michael Spinks and the silk worm pupas were Mike Tyson as Kalso BARELY made it to the 1:00 mark...then at about the 1:03 mark Kalso became the subject of the single greatest cell phone picture ever taken...

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